Seventh Post: Choice

Hey there bloggers! Yesterday my niece Alyssa turned ten. Double digits were a HUGE deal to her, and she's been talking about her perspective plans for a sleepover party for months. She also wanted to go to disney world and medieval times, those plans did not fall through but we did host a sleepover party at our house! So, two weekends ago, from 6pm-11am there were nine fourth grade girls running around my house. The sleepover went pretty smoothly, the girls had a scavenger hunt, decorated pumpkins, played games, and it seemed like everyone was having fun, until it was way past their regular bed time.

          From the sleepover I noticed a couple of things that I found interesting and notable in the socialization of Alyssa and her friends. Firstly I noticed off the bat that there was one girl, we'll call her Rachel, that the girls seemed to tease. Rachel sort of subjected herself to it. For example she's been to my house many times and asked Alyssa how many dogs we have...she tried to justify this by saying that she didn't mean real dogs, but that didn't really make sense and the girls all giggled. Also during the scavenger hunt when the rules were first read she just headed out in front of her friends, and during another clue she waited behind to change into slippers while the girls all ran in front. So, even though Rachel was subjected to the teasing I also think she sort of separated herself from the girls.

          Later when it was past midnight and the girls were all beyond cranky but still determined stay up late, fighting their tiredness caused some aggression. The girls continuously walking up and down stairs got both my sister and I out of bed so we separately went to talk to them. Alyssa reported back to us that Rachel was being mean to everyone. I tried to explain to her that it sounds a lot more practical for 8 girls to be mean to one than for 1 girl to be mean to 8. It was more than likely that the girls were teasing Rachel and when she tried to fire back they immediately accused her of being the mean one and responded as the victims.As I tried to explain this Alyssa stuck to her response, suggesting that Rachel was making everyone cry and that her sleepover party was a disaster. Than when my sister went downstairs to check on the girls that didn't retreat to my living room she said Rachel was balling and another girl was trying to console her. After all this "drama" wound down the overtired group went to sleep and in the morning they were all best friends again. I had over heard Rachel pick a fight about potato chips but for the most part everything from the night before seemed to be forgotten. Although, yesterday at dinner Alyssa told me Rachel said Alyssa's birthday party wasn't fun. I told her it was probably because everyone was mean to her and yet again Alyssa told me Rachel is mean to all of them. 

         Ever since I was in middle school the problem of girl bullying was often stressed to me and my classmates. So I am aware it is a problem especially in adolescent girls but I did not realize it on set so early. In every scenario I have seen for anti bullying, the bully is intentionally trying to harass her victim, but Alyssa and her friends seem truly unaware that when Rachel is seemingly mean to them it is a response to them being mean to her. Alyssa even said if she is mean to one of the girls they are all mad/upset. This is simple conformity, when a group bigger than two people agree with an idea that seems appealing or "right" more people are likely to follow their opinions, in Alyssa's case causing a shared hatred for one of their other "BFF'S". This common dislike isn't an elementary school thing, it occurs in my high school, at my sisters work, and even between my Mom's bunco friends. But the difference is we are all aware of it and know how to properly handle being grouped with someone you don't really like.Alyssa and her friends have been grouped with the same classmates for five years, not really being given the option to make new friends or leave old friends because there are only so many other girls in the grade. Conditioned to be friends with everyone throughout elementary school I think the girls are more likely to retreat to teasing, disrespecting someones feelings, and overall bullying, while still having play dates and engaging in activities (Alyssa and Rachel carpool for cheer leading practice and use to take gymnastic classes together) with the person that is subjected to this treatment. 

        Traditionally education on girl bullying starting in middle school made sense, but now with children hitting puberty at an earlier age than they did in the past I am sure their hormones subject them to being more emotional, dramatic, and well "catty" at an earlier age. While their emotions are maturing their mindset is still elementary so it doesn't surprise me that Alyssa did not realize how Rachel is the victim in this situation.  But, does this mean girls should be educated on girl bullying earlier than middle school? Would they be mature enough to understand the consequences of their actions? Or would the efforts be ineffective? 

Sixth Post: Article/Website

How Far is it to the Land We Left So in English class today I had my laptop open and was thinking I should start my blog post, so I searched "childhood socialization" into to google to get some ideas but nothing really stuck out. Than my teacher pulled up a poem on the projector and my attention was directed back towards class. The poem (linked above and copied below) is by Palestine-American women, Naomi Shihab Nye.

On the first day of his life
the baby opens his eyes
and gets tired doing even that
He cries when they place a cap on his head.
Too much, too much!

Later the whole world will touch him
and he won't even flinch

 After we read the poem out loud, I realized what Nye was insinuating. The poem is reflecting on concepts I suggested in a previous post (fourth one I think). The first theme we noticed in class was that the demands of society desensitize humans.  When the baby was first born he was vulnerable to something as simple as opening his eyes and a cap being placed on his head. But the second stanza shows that as he grew up he became so use to the norms and standards society inflicts he can no longer be hurt. The other theme we noted was conformity. Generally when babies are first born the hospital hat they are given is meant to identify their sex, blue for boys and pink for girls. Right out of the womb, this child is told WHO they are.
  So, this retreats back to the big question of nature vs nurture. As this baby develops, learning communication skills and how to function within society, is the person he grows into really "him" or a product of casualties. 

Fifth Post: Choice

What is childhood socialization for children who are not socialized? 

          Yes everyone in a modern American society is "socialized", between being around their families and going out in public but, what about parents who choose to not enroll their children into a school system and home school them instead?  Is this risking the socialization skills and habits a child is supposed to develop during school? 

         Of course the manifest function of schooling is to gain an education, but a latent function is definitively  learning rules and behaviors, systems of beliefs, and attitudes. This is in fact just as important as gaining an education. If a parent can teach their child and that child grows into a profound scholar, thats great and kudos to their mom or dad. But when that child is an adult goes into the real world and has to communicate with people outside his or her family unit, they may be dumbfounded. Not necessarily but the unfamiliar faces, but by the unfamiliar necessary behaviors that is seemingly a standard for adults to have developed. But if during a child's developmental year the  morals and standards their taught is just from their parents perspective than they will be lacking the skills needed to function in modern society. The ideals, opinions, mannerisms, and entire personality of a person who is home schooled most likely would be (intended or not) bias to those of their parents.Without the exposure to other people, especially those in the same developmental stage as the student, that child may not even realize all of their "identity" was chosen for them.

         I have been enrolled in a school system since pre-k so my ideas on this topic may be very bias because I do not know the reality of the other side. But I feel like the shelter inflicted on home schooled children, and inability to communicate among peers their own age, deprives them of the tools needed to develop into a well functioning adult. 

       P.S. if anyone who reads this thinks the complete opposite of what I have stated... that would be interesting, please share!

Fourth Post: Video

Hello Hello, my last post was supposed to be up Friday but as I was typing it I realized I was almost late for my new job and instantly stopped. Sorry about that one! But while I was at my new job, working the daycare at a gym I had two brothers come in. One was ten and the other seven, based on their dress I could clearly notice their interest in skate boarding. So right as we started talking skate boarding was mentioned, and the older brother asked if I skateboarded and before I could even answer his younger brother said girls don't skate board! To my surprise his brother answered with of course they can! I was happy to see his realization about gender stereotypes at such a young age. This was not the only time he reprimanded his brother, the older one kept making comments on how the younger one just wanted to copy him, and that he didn't really like skate boarding, or try it for more than 10 seconds. This started me on thinking about how families act as another social agent. As a seven year old he probably doesn't actually know much about skateboarding but with the constant exposure to his brothers (a little more advanced but probably still underdeveloped) passion for it, he knew he must love it too. If he didn't have that older brother would he still love skateboarding? Did their parents teach them that was a fun thing for boys to do or by nature were they attracted to it? Nature vs. nurture is a huge debate in the world of psychology. Many people agree that a little bit of both form our individual identities. But what if the child being raised is exposed to an abnormal type of parenting, one that is sure nurturing but does not inflict stereotypes that in today's society may or may not be confused with nature. This was the reality for Sasha Laxton. His parents chose to conceal his gender from the public up until he turned five last year. His Mother Beck Laxton reported that she wanted to avoid stereotyping and feels that gender roles may skew a childs potential. Embedded above is an interview with the parents of Sasha. 

While I believe in their intent to let the child discover his or herself, I feel as though the parents did not completely take the right approach and that Sasha may have been over exposed to a traditional female role leading to him behaving in a much more feminine manner, still resulting in conformity just with opposing means to the norm for a male. It may have been difficult for the parents not to inflict a personal biased on him, being that Beck was a feminist and disprove of toys with camo or skulls. It will be interesting to see if Sasha's "nature" of being a male contradicts his "nurture"  as he grows up.